Chill-out my way

Prologue

Adulting is hard, no matter how successful people think your life is. There's always a moment where you feel like you want to escape reality just for a while and embrace the inner peace that's been long hibernating inside you. For your information, that's also part of adulting, trying to keep yourself sane.

It's Okay to Not be Okay

This topic crossed my mind after I watched a new Korean drama series, It's Okay to Not be Okay, which raised the issue of mental health and public stigma of mental illness. There are various cases that were being shown, but I'm particularly interested in the story of the leading cast—Moon Gang Tae—where he should take care of his older brother who develops autism.

With their mother—who happened to be the only one to raise them—died, Moon Gang Tae was left with the only choice to patiently care for his brother and at the same time growing up by himself. I'm pretty sure a normal person would not be in such capacity to do that, yet he could manage. In one of the scenes, he was discreetly crying when reading a story about a zombie boy whose mother was completely clueless that this special boy only needs her warm motherly love. He was reflecting on what he felt through the grotesque yet relatable fairytale, that the only thing he had missed all this time was the love from his mother.

He never showed that kind of emotion to anyone, not even his brother. He felt overwhelmed but he had to look tough for his brother. However, aren't we all, right now?

Chills!

Depression can happen to anyone. Small things can frustrate us unknowingly. My suggestion: take time for yourself, you deserve it! It's okay to feel that way. Our mind gets more complex as we grow older and it's okay to give it a break when life drives us crazy. So, let me share a bit on how to chill out my way.

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

1. Netflix and chill (by my self!)

I'm a huge fan of movies and dramas, except for horrors. No, thanks. The last time I watched Insidious in cinema with a bunch of IAAS UNS people, I couldn't sleep well for three straight days. I prefer calming movies/series like How I Met Your Mother, Midnight Diner, Hospital Playlist, Nanti Kita Cerita Tentang Hari Ini, Sherlock Holmes, etc. I could binge-watching for half of the day when I'm feeling unwell, because why not?

2. Cooking

Cooking is the best remedy. Who doesn't love to eat? You don't have to be a very good cook, though. You just need to feel good about your cooking no matter flavor it turns out to be. You can pick ingredients that release calming aromas such as herbal teas, chocolate, or maybe any kind of citrus fruits that can help to clear your mind. Even a bowl of Indomie can be your comfort food!

3. Writing blog

Like what I'm doing now. I have pretty bad insomnia. Probably because I was given the privilege to work from home (way before the pandemic, though). I have thoughts of life lingering my mind 24/7. It's pretty bad. So, I read somewhere that in order to get a good night's sleep, I shall write my thoughts down to wash away my anxiety. To be honest, it helps a lot. Especially because my brain most active in the evening so I need something to make it work less when I decide to sleep.

4. Calling family member, le hub, or besties

After all, I need someone to stand beside me in my lowest period. I may spend some time alone, but I know I should look up to the people who love me when I'm ready. At the beginning of my master's study in the Netherlands, I had a great depression due to difficulties in coping with the academic system and culture shock. There were times where I would take a non-caffeine paracetamol pill just to get a good sleep. But I wasn't afraid to tell my parents about my condition because I knew I really needed their support. Oftentimes, people don't want to tell their closest relatives about their problems because they don't want to add some more burdens. For me, it's okay to ask them to give you a hand by listening to your problem. They maybe can't provide you with solutions, but an ear to listen to your problem is all you need. If you're a religious person, regardless of your belief, talk to God. I'm sure he'll listen to you. Remember, you are not alone, and never will. So, go get some help!

This list can go on and on but at least those are the things I usually do when anxiety attacks. I always keep in mind that life doesn't stop here because there are so many things in life I should be grateful for and I still want to do. Also, it's okay to not be okay :)